Keeping Things In Perspective
In the journey of a healthy mind, body and soul we learn as we grow and discover new ideas and new ways to help us live in this world of complexity.
For half of us we ignore the psycological side and yet other are obsessed with self discovery. There is a balance and you will find what is right for you.
The three words for this season's message from Possum Hollow were given to me in a discussion with a very wise and lovely lady. These words being Perspective, Expectation and Reaction. Let's look at their meanings:
Perspective: a way of regarding a situation and then making a judgement in relationship to this. A point of view or ability to see something objectively
Expectation:The act of looking forward or anticipating something - be it a thing, feeling, treatment or an emotion. A prospect of future good, future bad or profit or disappointment.
Reaction: An action in response to some influence. An action in response to a stimulus.
What is reality verses perspective is a concept that is unique to every individual. Can in fact anything be classified as real when our perspections can be so so different? Just because we see things in a different way to someone else does not mean it is wrong or not real to the individual. Yet on the flip side It is easy to believe our own way of seeing something is more right than someone elses ideas or visions.
It shows more and more that it is really important to keep an open mind at all times and listen to others with no judgement or reaction. It does not mean you have to agree with a person.
When we are children we think differently from an adult. Children sometimes think they are the blame for things that have nothing to do with them. They also will throw blame at others when they are sad or disappointed in themselves or the situation. Children need our help as adults to listen, emphasis and help them see what is real to them and help them let go and move forward.
The other thing to teach children is how to see another persons perspective and not to react out of proportion to a situation. In saying this there are conditions like Aspergers and Autism and ADHD where you may need biomedical/ psycological guidance to help reactions be less dramatic.
One way of understanding things is that reality is subjective and based on our perspective. One persons reality feels different to anothers. No one is right or wrong.
" Everything you see or hear or experience in any way at all is specific to you. You create a universe by percieving it, so everything in the universe you percieve is specific to you"
- quoted Douglas Adams
Take a look at the world that you see and how you view your reality. Think about the story you are living right now. If you do not like the story you are living right now then try and change your perspective. People can say it is this about seeing the glass half full verses the glass half empty but i feel it more than that. If you are unhappy then either change the reality you have of the world or change your expectations and do not react. The more I hear people talk about this topic it appears it is not easy to always change your situation but the happiest people are the ones that change the expectations and be conscious of their reactions.
I see some pretty sad situations and this continually helps me put things in perspective when I get stressed over something trivial. Life is full of experiences good and bad that can make our lives colourful and complete. Then there are the tragic moments that do not make sense or seem fair at all.
It is one thing to understand and see our own perspective, reality, reactions and expectations but in relationships (family, friends, collegues) we want others to understand ours but are we willing to understand anothers perspective and really listen without expectation or reaction. I will use children for example - too quickly we parents jump in with solutions, critizism or discipline expecting the child to take on an adult perspective. However maybe it works better to take steps to truly understand and see things from a child's perspective. How are we meant to teach children to be empathetic and see other people's perspective when we, as adults, do not try and look at other people's perspective and show the children through example how this can help in relationships.
It is a good idea to start asking others their opinions, ideas, feelings regarding things and encourage the kids to ask their friends what they think and why. You can learn so much from listening without expectation or judgement. My close friends use an expression called the " circle of no judgement" - sometimes this is hard to do but it stops me in my tracks if i feel i am judging others. Everyone has a story and everyone has a reason for why they are like they are.
This is a very interesting topic worth talking about an exploring. Take of this what you want and what you need for at the end of the day I am just sharing my perpective of this as a mother, as a practitioner, as a wife and as a daughter. We are all human - life is a journey.